Saturday, January 30, 2010

Forecast Shower Today "The Reign of Cats"

Today several of my blogging friends are hosting a virtual kitty shower for our fellow blogger Kathy( who today becomes the proud mommy of kitty "Elizabeth". In honor of this happy occasion I dedicate today's post to Kathy and Elizabeth. May your shared lives together bring you great joy and happiness.


DAY 752 - My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from shredding the occasional piece of furniture.

Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant and cough it up on the carpeting.
DAY 761 - Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded -must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair...must try this on their bed (again).

DAY 762 - Slept all day so that I could annoy my captors with sleep depriving, incessant pleas for food at ungodly hours of the night.

DAY 765 - Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was...Hmmm. Not working according to plan ...

DAY 768 - I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no good reason, I was chosen for the water torture. This time, however, it included a burning foamy chemical called "shampoo." What sick minds could invent such a liquid. My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth and the tiny bit of flesh under my claws.

DAY 771 - There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the foul odor of the glass tubes they call "beer." More importantly, I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

DAY 774 - I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The Bird on the other hand has got to be an informant. He has mastered their frightful tongue (something akin to mole speak) and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...

Kathy- I'm sure Elizabeth will be a different sort of cat from the one speaking above... your kitty will be kind and loving and of great company. Welcome to a great home Elizabeth and Congratulations Kathy!


Trekcapri said...

Wow! Thanks so much Barb. I was scrolling through my blog roll and when I saw your blog, I thought that cat looks so much like Elizabeth? :) What a touching and pleasant surprise from my wonderful blogging friends. Actually, made me tear up. I was sipping my morning cup of coffee and giggling at the quotes. LOL. They are so funny.

I hope that Elizabeth will be happy in her new home. I know I am a very lucky and happy person to have found her .

Thank you so much & Elizabeth thanks you too. Have a great weekend!

Sandrac said...

So funny, Barb -- I love the cat thoughts!

Annie said...

Cats reign and rule at my house too, so I'm so happy for Kathy and Elizabeth!

That evil "cat speak" is so funny.

Hope you're having a great weekend!

barb cabot said...

Kathy, I'm happy to join in the virtual shower. Happiness always for you and Elizabeth. She's beautiful!

Eden said...

Wasn't this a great idea ? ... this virtual shower. You post is great, as always. :)

Anonymous said...


Anne said...

Those cat thoughts are hilarious!! Even more so because I can just imagine my two cats thinking those very thoughts! Great post. I am so glad Maria and Annie got this party started!

menehune said...

Great post - a great laugh this morning reading your cat thoughts. Love the title of your blog as well. So creative, so early .... m


Such a wonderful cat and" humor-us" cat thoughts.

A kitty shower, too cute!

Jerry said...

This is one of my favourite cat jokes - and beleive me when I say it is quite in keeping with their quirky, funny, and maddening characters! LOL

Landon Clary Eason said...

So cute about the kitty, lolol They are so precious and can be soooo devious, the little stinkers, lolol
Thank you for entering my contest!!!

Happy Blogging!!

Deryn Mentock said...

I'm the owner of one of those half-wit I laughed my head off over this! I had no idea cats thought this way!

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